How often do you let your inner critic stop you from going after what you truly desire? Or do you allow your inner critic to run rapid and beat you up?
At the start of motherhood, I wasn't aware of how negative I spoke to myself. I was my own biggest critic. It pains me now, to think how long I allowed this berating internal dialogue to play out.
Now, I call my inner critic Sharon; it's the name people accidentally address me in emails or the barista at Starbucks will call out my drink order. Being called Sharon use to rev me up, but now I laugh because it's not that big of a deal. Giving my inner critic a name helps me to see this negativity as silly and not to take her so damn seriously!
I've rounded up four ways to calm your inner critic:
1) Acknowledge that your inner critic is in the room.
2) Get curious about your fear and current needs.
3) Love on yourself
4) Visualize the best-case scenario
Our inner critic can be a useful tool to observe wounds or fears. When you bring awareness to the critical internal dialogue, you can choose how you respond to the situation.
If you are a mama who has struggled with negative self-talk and you are looking for a community of mamas, join our Morphing into Motherhood community on Mighty Networks. We also have a course launching the winter that helps you through the three major shifts of motherhood; identity, body, and relationship. The online course Morphing into Motherhood helps YOU through this monumental transformation with more grace, love and compassion for yourself.
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The Rebel Soul Mama
Many of us women have a desire, an idea or things in our life that we want to do. But there is ONE huge fear stopping us in our tracks.
The fear of being judged! We tend to be afraid of what other people might think or that they won't understand us.
This fear came up for me recently. I sat in the discomfort, and when I looked closer it was an inner child wound of being accepted. I’ve always wanted people to like me, I’ve always tried my best to not rock the boat or upset others. I wanted to always fit in and be a part of the "cool" kids group. But these people pleasing tendencies only led to me to a life built on the approval of others, and not truly knowing myself or my desires.
Many of us seek outside validation, approval and acceptance because we are not giving this to ourselves. Our outer reality is a reflection of our inner world.
To heal this acceptance wound we need to go within. Getting the outside validation might feel good but if you don’t love and accept yourself you will never be at peace, you will always be striving to get that fix or hit from other people. In order to own your truth and power you get to radically love and accept yourself.
4 Steps to Overcome the Fear of Judgment
1. Sit with yourself and feel whatever is coming up for you. Feel it in your body. Now write down what is coming up. Is a past wound? Is it negative self-talk?
For example, my inner child has always wanted to be loved, accepted and validated by others.
Journal prompt - How can I love, accept and validate myself this week?
2. Now, ask yourself “Am I ok with the fact that people might judge me or that people might not understand me”. Really feel into this until you feel comfortable with the fact that others might judge you and not understand you. Embrace and love yourself, be your own biggest cheerleader!
3. Breath, and allow your emotions to come up fully. Let them run through you. and release the emotions. Many of us are quick to stop emotions or numb them but we need to surrender and release them. Otherwise we stay stuck in negative thought + behavior patterns.
4. Do something fun for yourself! Get yourself flowers, go on a walk, cook, do whatever your little heart desires. I like to finish up this type of work with a dance to my favorite song, to shift my energy and get pumped up.
If you want to dive deeper into this type of work, my course Let Your Light Shine is now available! It's a self-discovery journey that uses your Astrology chart. Join us babe!
The Rebel Soul Mama
Shannon McAlister | Educator, wifey and conscious mama who is practicing mindful living + appreciating the everyday magic!